i'm trying to breath...

yesterday...first day of fasting...
nothing happened...just having a very sleepy day at home...
hearing to my little brother wailing and screaming....

"umi!!!!nak air...."

hmmm...

kids...he's learning...
and as an adult...we need to teach him...

then...
went to bazaar Ramadhan...
1st day....fuuh!!!!
too many people around you...
they're so excited thinking about food...(i guess...hahaha)
again...
my brother starts pointed to everything that he thinks delicious...
hehe...sian...lapo bebenor...

p tarawikh lam kampong...
syok...
tp...ade bnde plik cket...
xperla...shhh....wat tataw dah...
bulan2 poser ih...xelok pker negatif...

a week at home...
as usual....
being so quiet...
a peaceful day...but yet...i'm bored...

missing my fwenz???
maybe...

well...
i love to see my family...
but,there are things that i don't wanna see...
can't avoid them...
can't even close my eyes...
hmm....
so sad...

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a statement came out again...
but this time...it came from another person...
it has been a long time...
i thought that person had forget about it...
well...
it seems that person doesn't forget about it at all...
i can't say a thing....
i can just smile...
and say...

"thank you so much....i appreciate that....but...there's nothing that i can do..."

then...that person asked me...

"if something happened...will u think about it again?"

i said...

"well...if something happened...i'll be walking alone and i'll never look back again...and...i will never think about it again..."

hmmm....
that person never stop asking...
still asking...
and I just smile...
without telling any answer...
that person knows my answer already....

well..
he did mention this before..

"i'll forget everything about you...and i hope you'll be happier after this...."

then...that person came back....
i asked...

"why are you still here??"

"because...i still........"

hmmm....
shocking????
nope!!!!!

i can feel the sincerity in that person's statement...
but...
there's no way i'm going back...
it'll make me suffer...
tears...
hatred....
everything will just come back...
and it won't be the same as before...

please...
i'm trying to breath...

let it be like this...
i want to be happy with what i have now...
with all those kinds of memories...
sadness...happiness...
they tought me something....
that makes me stronger....
day by day...
week by week...
month by month...
year by year...

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fuhhh...
it's going to be a very long week...
looking forward for it to be ended....

hoping to see all of the monkeys... (ayat sharil...kakaka)
A.S.A.P....

^_^