he's dying....

this is the second part for this post...

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i still remember that date...it was my birthday...
and it was the day where he's trying to fight for his life...

i still remember that he wished for my birthday...
twice...
but...
i didn't reply for any of them...
am i mean???

hmmmm....
i don't know that he's still "sleeping"...
it has been 12 days from that date...
he cannot talk...he cannot laugh...he cannot even smile...
he has been lying on that bed for 12 days...

i called him 3 days ago...
thinking of asking about his condition...
but...
it's not him who replied my call...
it was his cousin...
he told me everything about his condition...

"the operation failed..."

i couldn't say a word...

then...

this morning...
his cousin texted me...
told me that he moved his fingers...
and speak some words...

"he mentioned his daughter's name and a word,b**y..."

i was stunted...
that "name" was for me...
he mentioned my name...

"but then...he closed his eyes again...n his heartbeat is getting weaker after that...the doctor said that we can only hope for him to be alive...''

if i was there...
i will say this words to him...

"yan...please...wake up...eveyone is waiting for u to open your eyes and they're waiting for u to smile..."

but....
it's useless...

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he came into my life once....
but then he left...
n i'm the one who's leaving him...

well...
we're not meant to be together...

but...
he's still my friend...

i just want him to be alive...
he still has a life to enjoy...n he's still young...

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i wanted to say these words to him....

"i don't want those rings...i don't want anything from u...because they will remind me about you...just throw those rings into the sea like what u did before...just give those precious things to your friends...i don't want any of them...

i just want you to be alive...that's all i'm asking for...

just open your eyes n see the world...

u don't have to die like this...

please...wake up...

stop lying on the bed...

just wake up..."

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there is a melancholy feeling inside my heart...

i just don't know why.....

his cousin asked me...

"i know who u r...n i know what happened between u guys...but....what will happen to u if he's meant to be dead?"

i just answered...

"i have to accept it..."

it was so hard to let those words come out from my mouth...
i don't want my friend to die...
i want him to breath..
i want him to walk,run,smile,laugh....

but...he just can't....

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i'm not going to cry...

that's my promise...

our journey before was full of tears...

n i'm not going to add some more...

no more tears from me...

......................................................................................................................................................................

he's dying....

but...

i cannot do anything to save him....

God...
please...save him....